)))solstice)))

(((seeside(((

{(natural cathedral)}-{(a mixtape)}

dougie fresh here & you know that i know that it's been a long ol' time. please pay it no mind. here's to hopin' that everyone's havin' a stellar summer & that the following mixtape works your hazy, sunshine groove - may it seal the golden deal!
---------------------------------
made up name - black eagle child
dreamboat - ryan trott
when i awake - die jungen
true blue - dirty beaches
weather - velvet davenport
honeybee - emily reo
magic fiesta - mpala garoo
too blue - it is rain in my face
the wedding song - deekie
memory pools - foxes in fiction
satin skies - triptides
stockholm - wet wings
we went wild - lord huron
surface - teen daze
nothing nowhere - sad souls
broken finger blues - richard swift
if the sun stops shinin' (chubby checker) - damien jurado & richard swift
back where i began - pure x
lonely time - the brazda brothers
vision - mountainman
mind drips (neon indian) - jesse woods
bloody boat - colossal gospel
forget - mathemagic
----------------------

IF YOU WALK IN ON THE SUN

----------------------------------------------------

This isn't a Good Night for Walking - Arches

----------------------------------------------------

IF YOU WALK IN ON THE SUN

as it fertility-grasps the buried hand of earth
awakening the unbarren memory of her seeping bosom
her perpetuating loins
with the hazy shake of muffled promise –
be sure to give thanks.

and if your taut, startled flesh
comes swimming crude stroked
to the dank surface of night
and your story goes stuttering
like wounded wings
your visions all sullied dim
with slag and soot
if mourning comes as bone spurs
frosting up from earth’s dizzy body
her fractured lungs wheezing
gasping for the damp, recurring meal –
then go on
set your body faltering down
cover the beached fish muscles over
writhe the sleepless static
mumble wet the dark smoke dirge
wail the body unbroken
and once you’ve stared down
that cold horizon
viridian emerald pear tangerine
limp hands cradling at unseen waters
eyes unscaled
voice unfurled
be sure to give thanks.

<{cold horizons}-{four}>

{four} such a fond short flash the way we kept the little birds warm all thru the night - new hampshire to virginia and back - if those birds knew just half the words that gave heat to their feet i reckon we’d both be flying by now

<{Cold Horizons}>

hope some folks are up for a bit of poetry during these long winter months. i've recently been inspired to begin a series of poems to get me thru this season. i have a bad habit of gettin' the blues, especially this time of the year. once the holidays have passed, it's a long haul here in the backwoods of new hampshire. perhaps a few of you know where i'm comin' from. adding to this, i've been feeling the need to push myself into a new place with my poetry lately. getting overly analytical & critical (conscious) of what you're writing can be pretty debilitating at times. i've been rereading kerouacs "mexico city blues" collection recently, and just read his mini philosophy on writing called "essentials of spontaneous prose" (here). i've loosely tried my hand at this before and always get stuck when it comes to editing (kerouac is anti-edit) and end up frustrated. for this collection of poetry, i'm goin' for it. if i don't edit - alright. if i do edit - it's cool baby, it's cool. if editing robs my poetry of the purity of essence, than put me down as non-essential. i'm in it to have a good time while attempting to purge myself of the winter blues. hope you guys enjoy looking in on the experiment. if you haven't figured it out yet, i'll be calling the collection "cold horizons." here goes:

{ONE}

taking me by the hand
she leads on to the smooth majestic elbow strokes
meandering knees
& God knows what else
creepy wonders marvelous & alive!
& all this awe purely from the outside
but in me
the shame - oh God
of the small shallow vision that I carry

{)Christmas Eve(}{)A Mixtape(}

this is christmas eve, one half of a two disc christmas mix i made for some close friends in 2008, though i've made a few revisions for the sake of improvement. this was the mellow half. the other half, entitled christmas morn', was more on the peppy side. perhaps i'll put it up next year. this will be the first of three christmas mixes that i intend to put up between now and somewhere's around the 20th. there are some really wonderful renditions of the classics here, as well as some fine originals. merry christmas. doug

carol of bells - i heart lungs
joy to the world - clem snide
holy night - a perfect friend
o come, o come emmanuel - belle & sebastian
only at christmas time - sufjan stevens
the little drummer boy -vandaveer
lo, how a rose e're blooming - feist
christmas (baby, please come home) - arab strap
in the bleak midwinter - dan zimmerman
silent night - richard hawley
blue christmas - the perishers
the first noel - benji cossa
wrap me up - the sad cobras & the magic twig family
christmas time is here again (bring out the joy!) - my morning jacket
we're going to the country - sufjan stevens
christmas eve, driving home - frontier ruckus
don't be scared, there is a savior - joel pickell
shenandoah - le loup
the choir at your door - the choir at your door
last christmas - erland oye
if you were born today - low
o little town of bethlehem - the innocence mission
white christmas - snow den
it came upon a midnight clear - laura gibson
jingle bells - julian koster

<{(come winter)}>~<{(a mixtape)}>

greetings. happy first day of advent. here's a new mix intended to make you feel glad. if i were to try to describe it i'd say it sounds like the internal buzzings of someone dizzy with love. i realize that i might not have won you over with that statement, so allow me to explain:

the songs cover a lot of territory while consistently maintaining a sense of reflective joy & anticipation. somebody alone in a big room or ambling up a forest path with no one looking on. lost in thought. full of hope, acceptance, mystery. at times the music is hardly conscious - outside of time - flowing in the current. other times it's totally uninhibited - leaping giddy. i hope you've been here before. it's a good place to be.

what's the inspiration? i was thinking of a friend who i probably just described. one jaben vandenburg who this coming saturday will wed one carly arends. this mix is dedicated to them. i wish, hope & pray the very best to both of you & hope this music aptly reflects the coming days. congratulations - i wish i could be there.

as for everyone else, i would recommend this mix for activities such as drawing, walking, writing, necking, bubble-bathing, chessing, cooking & all around chillaxin'. enjoy. doug

birds pt. 1 - monster rally

a tender history of rust - do make say think

whisper always - wet wings

aesthetics of clouds - wixel

rails - bing & ruth

seeplymouth - volcano choir

look into the air - explosions in the sky

glory - 2%

vaarwel - wixel

follow me (john denver) - damien jurado & richard swift

filling our lives with each other - geotic

from one two - brometer

train song - vashti bunyan

winter waltz #1 - wixel

green - message to bears

womb duvet - origamibiro

lovers' carvings - bibio

honey moon - monster rally

hidden beneath - message to bears

wedding - ljudbilden & piloten

since it's a coal mine

well, it took a bit longer than expected to get this tune recorded, mixed & mastered, but here it is in all of it's low fidelity glory. please give it a listen. and by all means, please comment, critique, offer suggestions, high points, low points, etc... this is our first recording for the album, and even this song can recieve some editing if necessary, so offer your input freely & know that ben & i will humbly consider any insights. this invitation is for anybody visiting this blog by the way, regardless of how you found your way here.

in reference to something i had alluded to in a previous post concerning this recording project: my long term hope is to start an online record label that focuses primarily on recordings and distributes it's music for free (digitally): complete albums, splits & possibly ep's. and though the music would be totally free to download, we would present the option for donation at any price with a suggested donation attached. each album would be connected to a particular cause, organization, person in need, ministry, etc... and the cause would be determined by the artists making the music. for instance, as an extention of the content of the album we're recording at the moment, our hope is to find a group that we feel akin to that focuses on mental health, suicide prevention & education and that sort of thing. my thought at the moment would be to have 75% of proceeds going to the cause and 25% going to the artists for things like instrument maintainence and upgrades as well as possibley putting their music on vinyl for further distribution, a candy bar maybe, and other things i haven't thought of just yet.

i also imagine the label becoming a network of musicians, a collective, available to collaborate with all other members from their homes via the web. like, i know i need a double bass player for a particular track, and i know that joe shmoe from siberia plays the double bass and is part of the collective, and so i contact him and see if he feels up to it. if he does...cool, if not...no sweat. that sort of thing.

there are many more thoughts and wild ideas churning around in my mind concerning this vision. i'll save them for another time, but wanted to germinate the seeds a bit for now. respond with thoughts & questions if you feel inspired. below is Be Thine Mountain's first official recording. hope you enjoy. doug

Since It's a Coal Mine - Be Thine Mountain

}(this body)}

when this sickness finally goes

rises up from my bones like dross

i'll flee this place for another
divide the night like a freight train
i never have been too good at staying in one place

restless mind always telling my body how it should be

as though it knows

i'll step to the edges of untrodden heights
scale unclimbed trees
sing unsung songs

when my mind is better
better than this
i’ll be long gone
gone like the flipside of a full country moon
gone for good
there is a woodland where the water is quite mute
and not so swift in the flowing

the rain falls soft & slow there
sinks down deep
exalts the ground
trees & greens
doesn’t leave you quite so wet
i haven’t been sleeping

but once I've rested
i intend to move on from here
to the nourishment of fruit bearing a new hue
sweetness unfamiliar
i was on the porch this morning
with tea – but I was dizzy
time will tell it
downy tree shade that is dark
but not dismal – not daring
before too long
when this spell has finally lifted
i will inhabit a new dwelling
i will not care for this body there
i will plant no flag
carry no memory

[{( Routine Homecoming )}]

so last night i was recording a song with my buddy ben nester.

ben & i used to play in a band called Routine Homecoming together.

it was initially ben's solo project, but it eventually developed into a five piece.

each of us had a fulltime job and small children

and living in NH made for long trips to play out,

and so for this and various other reasons

the band folded about a year ago (on good terms).

other members of the band included

paul vittum, nate herrick & micah drexler.

at the moment ben & i are writing and recording music

under the name Be Thine Mountain.

the focus is on recording as opposed to playing out.

it's a very loose arrangment and therefore

works very well with our present lifestyles.

in a week or so i hope to post Be Thine Mountain's

first song for all to listen to and download,

as well as sharing my broader vision

for forming a collective of recording musicians

who are interested in harnessing free music

as a means of saving the world.

or at least parts of it - or people within parts of it anyhow.

so if you're a musician with the ability to do home recordings

and you like the idea of saving people in parts of the world,

then you might want to tune in for that one.

for now, here are some recordings from Routine Homecoming.

hope you enjoy, and would love to here your comments ~ doug

Computers Monitor

God & the Saddest Song

Heavenly Knives

There Will Be a Light

[{( born~cinder )}]

orion no. 7

my eyes are shut
but i’m wide-eyed awake
with the money i can’t make
& the strength i can’t fake
& i can’t help
but to speak to myself
here in the dark
about my will to break
and this step to take
of faith in a GOD

who bled for my sake
and so i pour myself out
with these words that unravel
these thoughts that time travel
thru the trees
& the breeze
& the clouds
constricting
& expanding
& thru the atmosphere
& thru this weightless air
i keep breathing
i breathe is all
again

& again
unto HIM

orion no. 5

this one received a bit of editing

just grammar & word use

nothing major

-it needed it.

orion no. 5

we are mesmerized in motion
marching ~ vibrating ~ pulsating
our small hearts clutched in our little hands
thrust up & over our heads
held like scalps of war

we are dizzy with private thoughts of
genius, grandeur & glory
leading us in shackled feet
to the base of the mountain
whose birds fly crossways
above the tree-line
declaring,

there is a way that seems right to you
........but it’s path ends in humiliation
..............it’s path ends in confusion

....................path ends in vexation
...........................ends in isolation
...................................in degradation
.......................................destruction

... !! ... go no more this way ... !! ...

orion no. 3

orion no. 3

thru clouds dense
i emerge
forward i converge
with winged things
in migratory formations
& though i hesitated
like the breaking signals
of radio stations
i am nonetheless resolute
full of the stuff
of the life
of the heart
& mind
that i deem vital
& sense
that i will never
inwardly refute

orion no. 2

orion no. 2

contentment

is the calm ocean

nearing the eternal netherland

that mumbles

“enlightenment. nightingale. tenderness.”

or

Calm

Ocean

Nearing

The

Eternal

Netherland

That

Mumbles

Enlightenment

Nightingale

Tenderness

orion poems

i spent nearly three years working at a place called The Orion House. It's a residential placement facility for at risk teenage boys - mostly court mandated. i moved on from there about two years ago, give or take. it was easily the most maturing & challenging job i've ever had - very bitter-sweet. toward the end i started doing poetry workshops with a few of the guys, and it was amazing. they loved it and thrived in it, and soon there were more and more joining us. i think we maxed out at about eight or so (we held sixteen max). some of these kids were true poets - no lie. they were totally committed. set time apart to write and edit and share what they were developing with me. i was lovin' it. they let it all hang out and articulated some very personal things in their own original voices. i learned and grew as a poet a great deal. we did all sorts of exercises to get the whole group writing. we'd put on some good instrumental music, mostly mellow beats, and everybody would rattle off a word, and we'd jot 'em down on the board, and then everybody would have five minutes to write a poem using at least three of the words from the list. stuff like that. all kinds of combos and weird ideas developed over time. stuff like this is great because it forces you to write in ways that you otherwise wouldn't. and when you only have a few minutes to write and basically no time to edit, you start tapping into a different part of your brain. you start pullin' from your subconscious a bit i think and you have to let go and trust the process. all these tough guys packed into a small room - writing poetry - all bashful to share - finally reading and getting shouts and laughter and high fives. you could always feel the intensity and they never wanted to quit. and i didn't either, but i always had to close it down for dinner or bed or what have you. a totally cherished memory for sure. so...i wrote quite a bit of stuff during that time and recently came across what i still have. much of it seems odd, mainly due to the direction of the writing exercises and the quick judgement no edit approach. i'm gonna post one a day for a week or so. hope you enjoy ~ dougie fresh

orion no. 1

sensing all the cracks in my borrowed life,
i blow fierce the self-made wind
of controlled abandon:
one more borrowed breath
down the tubes
of this borrowed clarinet

shouldering the sun

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

such endless variance
in this vast field
each blade contributing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hemmed within
expansive cloud explosions—
infinite blue!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

eyes shut
loose bodied
I take the sun
Into my knees

~~~~~~~~~~~~

tall grass
quivers beneath
darting bird shadows

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TRAMPLED BLOOD

here's one more. this was actually the first song i came up with and it inspired the overall idea for the album - just finished editing the lyrics to my liking.

Trampled Blood

i’ve stayed away for so long
without ever really leaving
i’ve traveled back too many miles
thru my mind’s dark ravine

some days a clustered woodland
other days an empty plain
yet bound within this fading skin
each day just seems the same

forgive me Lord

You know I...did not mean

to trample on Your blood
but like a tramp, I wandered thru

forgive me Lord

You know I...did not mean

to trample on Your blood
but I’m a tramp, & I know that it’s true

a light within a mine shaft
a secret unrevealed
a woeful sham, the way I’ve wandered
thru Your open fields

and though I’ve cried forsaken
only You know how it feels
to be the one whose love is squandered
whose pardon is concealed

forgive me Lord

You know I...did not mean

to trample on Your blood
but like a tramp, I wandered thru

forgive me Lord

You know I...did not mean

to trample on Your blood
but I’m a tramp, & I know that it’s true

release me from the haunting of
the lonesome words that call my name
release me from the haunting of
the words that hold me to my blame

i’ve spoken like a mantra
in fear & lonesome doubt
words that died, before they rose up
from my hollow heart

and You see my love-light waning
that once burned pure & bright
The fire’s died, my ember smolders
Like a sunset’s fading light

forgive me Lord

You know I...did not mean

to trample on Your blood
but like a tramp, I wandered thru

forgive me Lord

You know I...did not mean

to trample on Your blood
but I’m a tramp, & I know that it’s true

dim spark

here are some more song lyrics.
this one would actually fall into
the number one position on the

album and is therefore of a darker

nature within the theme (if this is

confusing check the post entitled

"Holy Is His Ghost"). this photo

was taken by leah a few days ago at

the ocean but i did tweek the color

& contrast a bit - the atmosphere

was so eerie it was wild. it's my

brother-in-law in the photo.
here's the song:

dim spark

when my eyes meet with the dawning
there comes a black cloud in my mind
there goes a black thought sinking slowly
like a dim spark thru my spine

( layered, sweet, eerie moaning bridge )

i watch the days drift along the floor boards
and I smoke my cigarettes
as my feet scuff like a nun’s thumbs
upon a rosary of regrets

( bridge repeated )

the restless nights come with the vision
of all my dreams adrift on high
among an endless cloud recession
folding into a static sky

( bridge repeated & mingled with below chorus )

is this the sorrow of the world that I bear?
is this the sorrow of the world?